Sunday 10 June 2012

Ever felt like you are the bad guy sometime???

=D hello, random strangers passing by to read this XD, anyway do stop to read this..and I hope I may encourage you..one way or another...

So...
The title pretty much says everything....
Have u?....ever felt such a way..?

I do...Every freaking day...

And people will call you all kinds..
And say things that you know are not true...
And people would just blame you..
And they would seek God (which is also your God)...just to forgive you...~~
But nobody would be there to believe you...hahahahaHAHHAHAahahahah.... how pathetic is my life...~~

Emm...
But I loved God..because He was the only One I could rely on...
And I know ... I am blameless in His sight...


I have already (long) stop believing that one day...
people would start being understanding to me...
or people would say 'I know what you are going thru'...or things like that...you know..
I just can only accept it as how it is...

And the only fuel pushing me on throughout is the knowledge and Faith that Christ...loves me so much....
Even when people fails..
Even when Christian fails...


My hope for you who read this... (If anyone is reading XD)...
is that...
emm... dont keep anything to heart....because (like what my aunt say)... you are the only one hurting..~~
and move on =D

People disappoint,
God may...at first...but He would make you glad when you understand why =D


And if you see this somehow...SHUT UP =P...
And let me post this peacefully XD

For the Glory of Him,
who Lives....
And whose Grace is beyond comprehension and understanding..





Monday 4 June 2012

The Wretchedness of... me

Now that people stopped looking here, I can actually share my life in more personal =P... So if you happen to see this, then blessed(?) are you =P..

It's been a while since I came back to serve God whole-heartedly...But recently, I believe the Spirit led me and lit my spiritual fire again...~ Amazingly... XD..

I saw the movie Cinderella Man today .... haha ... an old movie... Cried XD..~ But it reminded me of my dad and how our family used to be after the divorce...~
My dad would need to work sooooooo hard just to earn sooooo few... and how much he cried for the fear of being unable to care for us~~ (While I'm writing this, by no manner have I mentioned that my mother went thru an easy time, she had her moments as well)...

So I just told God, I remembered...
I remembered how Faithful is He...
When we do not have enuf money, He provides Faithfully...
When we thought we could not move on, He allows us too....~
He never failed on us... And still today...

Starting from my second semester in UCSI,
life was tough... Due to many rubbish that went on... And God sealed my lips so that I would not defend myself on accusation (although I do not yet understand)... And I pretty backslided so much because of anger and unforgiveness...

But God was Faithful... =)

I always find it unanswerable whenever I asked Him, 'Why do You still care for me?'...even when I've done so much...

And throughout 1 year plus in my uni~ though there are accusation, He walked me through =) Providing companionship from great friends =) ( You will be shocked that God sent me a good friend of mine who loves Metal music...YES!!! hhahaha... But He is Faithful...).. =)
And I find myself being unworthy but still loved as though I have saved the world =D metaphorically =P...

But I found rest in Him and I found hope in Him..
Although words may come... I trust Him for who He is..

Because He never fails.... =D

I understand that the most central thing in the Faith is not how right I am (perhaps why God shut my lips so that ppl would misunderstood me) in the sight of ppl or even to my own perception of myself...
The central component of Faith is perhaps the intimate relationship I have with God, My Father... which I can never understand why He loved me so much =D....

But I am learning .... and growing...~

Oh...Wretched I am..... But Greater is He who lives in me~ ! =D