Ever felt like you are the bad guy sometime???

=D hello, random strangers passing by to read this XD, anyway do stop to read this..and I hope I may encourage you..one way or another...

So...
The title pretty much says everything....
Have u?....ever felt such a way..?

I do...Every freaking day...

And people will call you all kinds..
And say things that you know are not true...
And people would just blame you..
And they would seek God (which is also your God)...just to forgive you...~~
But nobody would be there to believe you...hahahahaHAHHAHAahahahah.... how pathetic is my life...~~

Emm...
But I loved God..because He was the only One I could rely on...
And I know ... I am blameless in His sight...


I have already (long) stop believing that one day...
people would start being understanding to me...
or people would say 'I know what you are going thru'...or things like that...you know..
I just can only accept it as how it is...

And the only fuel pushing me on throughout is the knowledge and Faith that Christ...loves me so much....
Even when people fails..
Even when Christian fails...


My hope for you who read this... (If anyone is reading XD)...
is that...
emm... dont keep anything to heart....because (like what my aunt say)... you are the only one hurting..~~
and move on =D

People disappoint,
God may...at first...but He would make you glad when you understand why =D


And if you see this somehow...SHUT UP =P...
And let me post this peacefully XD

For the Glory of Him,
who Lives....
And whose Grace is beyond comprehension and understanding..

The Wretchedness of... me

Now that people stopped looking here, I can actually share my life in more personal =P... So if you happen to see this, then blessed(?) are you =P..

It's been a while since I came back to serve God whole-heartedly...But recently, I believe the Spirit led me and lit my spiritual fire again...~ Amazingly... XD..

I saw the movie Cinderella Man today .... haha ... an old movie... Cried XD..~ But it reminded me of my dad and how our family used to be after the divorce...~
My dad would need to work sooooooo hard just to earn sooooo few... and how much he cried for the fear of being unable to care for us~~ (While I'm writing this, by no manner have I mentioned that my mother went thru an easy time, she had her moments as well)...

So I just told God, I remembered...
I remembered how Faithful is He...
When we do not have enuf money, He provides Faithfully...
When we thought we could not move on, He allows us too....~
He never failed on us... And still today...

Starting from my second semester in UCSI,
life was tough... Due to many rubbish that went on... And God sealed my lips so that I would not defend myself on accusation (although I do not yet understand)... And I pretty backslided so much because of anger and unforgiveness...

But God was Faithful... =)

I always find it unanswerable whenever I asked Him, 'Why do You still care for me?'...even when I've done so much...

And throughout 1 year plus in my uni~ though there are accusation, He walked me through =) Providing companionship from great friends =) ( You will be shocked that God sent me a good friend of mine who loves Metal music...YES!!! hhahaha... But He is Faithful...).. =)
And I find myself being unworthy but still loved as though I have saved the world =D metaphorically =P...

But I found rest in Him and I found hope in Him..
Although words may come... I trust Him for who He is..

Because He never fails.... =D

I understand that the most central thing in the Faith is not how right I am (perhaps why God shut my lips so that ppl would misunderstood me) in the sight of ppl or even to my own perception of myself...
The central component of Faith is perhaps the intimate relationship I have with God, My Father... which I can never understand why He loved me so much =D....

But I am learning .... and growing...~

Oh...Wretched I am..... But Greater is He who lives in me~ ! =D

When you've found Faith, dun let it go!!!!!!!!~~

Faith is an interesting subject in the Christianity point of view and its definition, subjective to different opinions about it. There's a lot of time I felt discouraged with the way the world lives today ( and to a certain extent Christians). It is really not easy to find a single individual who declares or proclaim God (outside the Church or any Church events) in their social network or even among peers...~ Perhaps in my opinion I felt at times, Brothers and Sisters need a time outside theories and move on to a more practical framework.~

I believe there are also some out there whom may be seeking faith and evidence in an unseen God (claimed by Christians) and are striving to know more about Him..~ It may be that you may be discouraged on certain issues and that there are no 'landmark' in finding Faith. But let me encourage you to push on always =) and refer always to the Word of God for reference...

These few days especially I have been seeking God (for I am wretched XP !....) and bring these troubled thoughts to Him..~ I always asked why do we keep silent of Faith and not tell it out outside to people whom do not know Him? Aren't we suppose to 'boast about the Faith that we have in the Lord Jesus Christ?'. (or perhaps we are too afraid to be called a 'Jesus Freak' or a hypocrite?)

For Faith seeker... Never lose sight of someone who speaks of God openly and encourage you daily with the Word of God~~ These are faith carriers~ I remember one of my close one bringing me to see a lecturer...And I remember that the lecturer, the moment she opened her mouth, Jesus was magnified~~ =)! that was nice and encouraging and will not forget that...~ So Faith seeker~... Dun let lose of people who glorify God~these are faith carriers~ And dun be afraid to be ashamed of Him, He wont bite!~ People may call you names you may not like. They may say you are irritating... Remember, you win God not men!~

Let's love and encouraged one another in the light of His Glory and Grace!

Let's go nuts with God!!!!

To Him alone be Glorified!

Snowy lesson...Grr~ -Reconstruction 4-

Pada suatu masa dahulu.... hehe~ Just crapping.. I've heard of this story recently by someone and I felt its quite useful for sons and daughters of God whom in anyway striving to be like Jesus...And to be like Jesus Himself is something so hard that many of us would find it impossible...~

Theoretically of course we know the answer... 'Keep His Word in our Heart..Pray always...dadadadadada..But we always end up failing...'

So apparently the story goes something like this (Edited a bit haha)..

There was a father...As in a real father...Whom had a son..~ hehe~

So it was a snowy season at that point of time and the roads and pavement are all covered in snow (obviously) xp.. This father reaching full maturity physically asked his son whether or not the son wants to go out with him to get something. And the son answered, 'Yeah =)'... And there were neighbors all outside just enjoying the calm weather and at the same time this father and son was on their way out...

But this son noticed the way his father would put on that thick clothes to keep him warm...

So the son would also wear thick clothes..So thick that he looks so so fat..~ XD But nonetheless, he wears it.

And then he also noticed that his father wore a hat, as it is fitting for an elderly man.. But this son again looking at his father, borrowed a hat from his old man... And wore it!! ...Now he was one 6 years old kid wearing an old dusty hat...~

So it was not long that they open the door and start walking out the house to buy some stuff. And the son yet Again! noticed the way his father walks. The manly type of walk facing up with a huge step..So this young guy would also imitate his father, with chin up and large step facing the skies, he took his first step... and true enough, it was a lil' too large a step that he tripped down and fell on the snow...~

So apparently one of the neighbor took a picture of his father and the young boy 'kissing' the snow on the floor and the they giggled and laughed hehe~.. The young boy was cute with his hat still on his head and legs spread out and that thick thick clothes made it difficult for him to stand up on his own..Pity him.

Alrite hehe~! The end!~ dada...

Bye!~

=P... The story is nothing much interesting..But the point is sharp...

Often time Christians whom want to follow after Jesus, just as the young boy, fall again and again and made an object of laughter and silliness... And true enuf it is discouraging when ppl would laugh at us..

But I think honestly thats not the main point lo...

I think what really matters most is that we are known to have been trying again and again for trying to be like Jesus...!~

Yea we may fall, to temptation and failures.. But, God never said we are perfect.. And in this lifetime we will never be..~

But reli, whats most important I believe is that when ppl would look at our life.. After laughing at all our fail attempts.. They would say, 'That dude over there right, Never gives up trying to be like Jesus'... Woosh..That is one great honor honestly.. To be known by the world to follow after Jesus...~ That's shining light in this dark dark world!!~

So to you..Don't be discourage yea..

Lets be like a child together and even if we are known as silly, lets try again and again to follow Jesus and His ways!Amen?.~!

Let's love and encouraged one another in the light of His Glory and Grace!

Let's go nuts with God!!!!

God Be Glorified!

Light up love!~ Light up encouragement! And don't make a sound =) -Reconstruction 3- =P

It's been a while when I last update my blog... It's fun tough hehe...Getting some rest and back from a wild Church Game Camp in Rawang last week.. It was really a very great great time of refreshing after a long long week of discouragement.. And I can really say I grew closer with God and my younger brothers in Christ.. At many times I thank God that they will grow up one day facing the challenge and tough times the world will bring on them, and again yet knowing that the Lord God Almighty is with them and BELIEVING that they will choose what God wants them to choose =)...

I really learn to love them more and more each day and not to mention all the more my two leaders as well whom took care of them ~...

Hehe~ All in all~ it was fun in the camp and a seed has been sown into each of us and to a few the seed has grown into something wonderful..!

Back to my silent times! Hehe~ If u follow my previous blog, you will know that God has shut my mouth in a very....funny way hehe~ and by far, God has been really faithful as I keep silent and amazed at the things God has bless in my life, and I know it that it's not coincidence because it's so so so real =)

And God really gave me understanding on many things that I was confused and peace from the inside out =) ...and I thank anyone who kept me in prayer, because ur prayer has certainly bless me...

God is a funny God..Really hehe~ he has been very faithful at guiding me to love and encourage ppl. Even with mistakes, He still guide me to learn... And a new thing He taught me is to Love and Encourage Others SILENTLY.... I was like...Errrrrr~ Hehe~ Nutsssss! Not God..But me...Emm..Maybe God hehe~ Sorry hehe~

But again what is normal for us is nuts to God and what is normal for God is nuts to us =P

He taught me a lot everyday taht encouragement and love must not just be with words..In fact, if possible don't even bother using words.. He really kept me quiet at times and ask me to understand why am i caring and loving for... And yea, true enuf at times I love because I want to be loved.. And He dropped a bombshell, asking me to be fully content with Him ALONE first and then only minister to others while STILL CONTENT WITH HIM ALONE...~ Hehe~

I find it very humbling...That we can never jump to minister others before knowing why are we ministering for.. Or even better...For who are we pleasing when we minister.

God also taught me to learn to discern who needs encouragement and love.. My pastor once said, better shoot at a target than to shoot and draw the target... Well hehe, another humble experience... He taught me to be silent and speak only when needed and not go around babbling about God and dadadadaa~ So that then, the ppl who was ministered will know that it is God who was speaking! hehe~ and more importantly to prevent Burnout!!~

So yea, do continue to uphold me as God is bringing me through this process of moulding =)

For the Gospel of Christ~!

Let's love and encouraged one another in the light of His Glory and Grace!

Let's go nuts with God!!!!

God Be Glorified!

Reconstruction 2...

Still in the midst of...Keeping silent xp!

Things are hard though when at times I would see my brothers doing things that are wrong before God, and it is so tempting to just 'rebuke'... But God still kept my lips silent...and silent I will be...~

Devotion time is increasing though..Praise to our God..

May I learn to be closer with Him everyday in my life...

Lets refocus our life back to God =)...

Reconstruction 1...

In my heart, I do believe that many Christians will be revived in the days to come...And many times, we (or maybe I) gets very anxious about that...~

I mean....like for real, revival???~Who don't want that le hehe~

But I noticed these days as the Lord grant me and teach me a whole lot of definition of revival...And what does it really mean.It kinda blows my mind in some ways..

I was discouraged previously when my Lord asked me to be silent (refer to previous post yeah)... And God would seem as though He would grant revival anywhere except EFC... But really I wanna thank Him because He kept my mouth shut and guide me...

Revival, is something that not what man can do...~ Not with his best of best effort...~

I can do all kind of events and parties and outings and etc etc to speed up this 'revival process'... but at the end of the day...It's not really revival when God is not in it...~

What can men do so much as to force passion into the hearts of His people??

I remember what one of my sis told me be4 that, passion is something that we cant force ppl to have.. but we can at least pray for the Lord to grant passion...

Sometimes I think the greatest substance needed for even a glimpse of revival to occur is for us to be very humble..

To bow first and act...

To consult God and seek Him first...

Revival will come but.. we must always ask...for whom the revival is for??

So yeah...

in this time, I believe it is a season to be quiet...and get to know your Lord of Revival..

He is the One who grants revival for Himself...~

Pray for the passion =)

Let's love and encouraged one another in the light of His Glory and Grace!

Let's go nuts with God!!!!

God Be Glorified!